Monday, August 3, 2009

JPism, the World's Most Ridiculous Religion

JP's latest post gives us the perfect opportunity to mock and repudiate JP’s religion, which is NOT Judaism.

Basically this is what he believes:

Once upon a time, there was this very irascible, petulant god. Let’s call him Yahweh. We don’t know how Yahweh got here (did he make himself?), but anyway, he was sitting around for billions of years making worlds and repeatedly destroying them, along with millions of species of living things, including human like creatures. Then after billions of years, about 6000 years ago, he made a man called Adam. Then he made a woman from the man’s rib. (Meanwhile there were many other species which had males and females, some of which had no ribs).

Then Yahweh, starts to make a bunch of big mistakes. Things didn’t go as planned. He had to destroy all of the living things he created once, along with various other acts of destruction and punishment. Later, Yahweh and his helpers found man threatening, so they had to disperse them and confound their speech so they couldn't become like gods. Yahweh was very disappointed.

Now skip ahead 2500 years. About 3500 years ago, Yahweh decided to set some rules, and apply them to a tiny nation called Israelites. These rules included killing homosexuals, apostates, blasphemers, idol worshippers, witches, and gatherers of wood on the Sabbath. The Israelites were to exterminate the non-Israelite inhabitants of their land. He also included some other ritual laws, which he evidently copied from some other god’s books. He required his people to kill animals in order to assuage His anger and avoid punishment. There were also some social laws, which reflected social reality at the time.

But, despite Yahweh being all knowing and his laws perfect, the laws just didn’t work out so well. The Law didn't stand up the test of time. People couldn’t follow all of the rules, and since Yahweh stopped talking, they couldn't even remember them all (since he supposedly prohibited his people from writing down the details). So His chosen people were doomed to failure. His first prophet, Moses, even tells the people that they will fail and be punished for it. But despite the problematic nature of the Law, Yahweh kept torturing and punishing His people for not following it. Furthermore, circumstances changed, so that this supposedly perfect Torah law had to be changed as well. So the “Oral Torah” was invented, which allowed his people to do what they thought was right, while saying that Yahweh told them to do it that way. So they could add and cancel laws as needed, or change them to reflect reality. In JPism this Oral Law, with all of its myriad details, was supposedly given to Moses in the desert, and transmitted to the people, even though it could not be written down and therefore would be impossible to preserve.

In JPism certain nasty Torah laws are still valid, others not. For example, we don’t do Levirate marriage or child slavery or sacrifices any more. Nor do we burn witches. However, apostates, homosexuals, and users of pornography are still worthy of death. In JPism, Yahweh is a very homophobic, sex-obsessed and sadistic god, who enjoys creating people only to destroy them. He even killed 6 million of His chosen people, including children, because many of them prefered science and reason to primitive beliefs. He is the world's worst mass murderer. Perhaps He gets off on this. Ironically, JP likes to blame Nazi atrocities on atheist ideology, but JP himself has plainly stated that he believes that it was God punishing the Jews. In other words, it is JPism and Torah that advocates mass murder. Furthermore, Yahweh ignores 99.9% of humanity since they are not Jews and thus don’t matter. Therefore he allows untold suffering to be visited upon their innocents as well.

Just for fun, I will now paraphrase from JP's post about atheism:

This is the basic belief of JPism, the world's most irrational and destructive religion. This religion is merely an absurd myth, not based on a shred of science (or any other evidence), created to permit us to persecute people that we don’t like or don’t agree with us. It justifies the suffering and death of untold millions. Various forms of JPism exist today, in certain forms of Islam or Heredi Judaism.

I invite my readers to compare this post with JP's, and decide for themselves which ideology is more irrational and immoral.


Off the Derech said...

Great post, as usual.

If I could just take your point one step further. You say JP's version isn't authentic Judaism, but do you think there is such a thing as authentic Judaism? What would you view as the right way to be Jewish, or do you think many different ways are okay, as long as they're basically moral, and at least somewhat subjected to reason?

G*3 said...

In what way is this all not Judaism? It seems that he just takes right-wing Orthodox Judaism to itsl logical extreme. Pretty much everything you wrote here is standard dogma, though it usually comes without the sardonic twist you give it.

Its all jsut the way you spin it.

DrJ said...

G3 and OTD, thanks for the comments.
I wrote this as a "parallel" post to JP, using his own techniques against him. Granted, it interweaves elements of standard Judaism with JP's particularly extremist fundamentalist ideology. My point is for the readers to contrast and compare my post with his, then decide which is more irrational or immoral.

I think I'll add another interesting twist to the post-- that JP on one hand condemns atheism as being behind the Nazi atrocities, yet JP himself believes, (and has said explicitly) that it was God and his laws who was behind it all! What irony!!

DrJ said...

OTD, specifically to your question--

Authentic Judaism is whatever it becomes in each generation. That's how it always was.

Have you read stuff from Rabbi Bar Haim's site on Mechon Shiloh?

He raises many very interesting questions about what is "authentic". I agree with much of what he says, but in a sense he is very much a "fundamentalist"-- in that he wants to take Judaism "back" to where it once was. In my view this is a fundamentally erroneous approach to Judaism. Judaism evolved, warts and all. Jewish leaders should be free to rid us of these "warts" (like kitniyot), but Bar Haim wants to restore the sacrifices as well.

Off the Derech said...

Fair enough. I don't exactly see any sort of need for an authentic religion. Why can't we all just practice whatever kind of Judaism we want (or none) without labelling any of it "authentic?" But you don't mean the term in a very fundamentalist, rigid way, so never mind.